Epitaph Of a Failure

Sometimes i wonder...or rather I feel that on my way up the ladder of life, i slipped somewhere...sometime back...about half a decade back, and ever since I've been falling down...down that spiral ladder and i know not whether that ladder has an end. Falling into infinity, spirally! A rather comical rendition of a deep-rooted hopeless, helpless feeling inside me. Will this ever end?

They say the human mind is a sophisticated mechanism. Inflict too much pain on a human and he will simply pass out, and hence become oblivious to any further pain that maybe inflicted on him. I draw an analogy to the human life. Humans, at least me. I've face so many failures all in rapid succession, after a period of basking in the limelight, so many failures that ...now i'm immune. I already know that my next venture is a failed investment. Any hope of fruition, however minuscule, is jeered at by me and is considered as another attempt to make a fool out of me. 'Cos i've come to know and believe with whatever faith i have in all things tangible... that hope is a fair but faithless illusion of my own self. And hence, is another failure.

So why even try to invest? Why not just lay to rest all the furtive attempts? Again i draw analogy with the human mind. A family of 4 in a car meet an unfortunate end by means of a freak accident. Roll back 5 seconds and freeze. The father/mother in the car are in postures which seemingly depict the fact that they both are frantically trying to devise means to fend the impending doom off their RESPECTIVE selves...not their kids or eachother. Survival is not a matter of mere personal choice, its reflex.

So despite the fact that my logical faculty is crystal clear over the fact that success is a card i should never bet along, my subconscious calling, blinded and impaired in various ways as it may be, obdurately scratches the charred walls of an immaculate labyrinth, hoping to find a way out, a way which probably doesn't even exist...Hope, a failure.

So my question to you my friends is...


What, then, is the use?